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October 21, 2009
Is divorce the solution you are seeking?
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Is divorce the solution you are seeking?
Posted by: Stephanie Squires
October 21, 2009
Topic: Do you really want a divorce?
Filing for divorce is a big emotional step with long lasting consequences. Most of us, when we are upset, have said things to spouses or significant others that we wish we could take back. Filing for divorce and having your spouse served is not usually something that can be taken back, not emotionally.
It's easy in these economically difficult times to let our frustrations affect our relationships. If you or your spouse has lost a job, it puts a lot of strain on your family.
It's easy to become frustrated and unhappy and want life to change. Divorce may be the answer, but, before making the decision to file, ask yourself a few questions.
Is it a divorce you want, or a change in marital dynamics? Has the economic strain put distance between you and your spouse and you believe that "threatening" your spouse with divorce will get his/her attention? Well... you'll get attention, just not the kind you want. In an already strained relationship, the threat of divorce is never constructive. Think about why you're unhappy, will ending your relationship relieve that unhappiness, or is it something else you want to change?
Can you deal with the everyday aspects of life without your spouse? Not just the financial aspects of being a single earner family, but the day to day chores that need to be taken care of. Are you ready and willing to do it all yourself?
Are you ready to see your spouse with a new significant other? If you are expecting your spouse to pine away for you sitting at home - think again. If that thought makes you uncomfortable chances are pretty good that you're not ready for a divorce.
People get divorced for many different reasons. A prevalent reason is infidelity. Many people decide to get divorced because their wife or husband has cheated on them. Once the cheated on spouse finds out about the infidelity, divorce often ensues. It then becomes a battle between spouses and usually the cheated on spouse want to punish the cheating spouse by taking all the community assets. He or she may feel that they are owed something and should be compensated for their pain and suffering. However, California is a "no-fault" state. This means either spouse may initiate and receive a divorce even if the other person disagrees. California acknowledges that both husband and wife have contributed in some way to the marriage's breakdown, so one party is no longer "punished" financially or otherwise for the marriage's failure.
One advantage of living in a no-fault state is that the court and the parties don't have to waste time and money to prove fault. It reduces the need to litigate and allows couples to move on to important issues, such as custody, child support, spousal support and distribution of community assets. Fault does not enter into property division or support. California is a community property state, which means that all assets and liabilities the parties earn or acquire during the marriage are presumed to be shared and must be divided equally unless the parties agree otherwise. So, rather than looking for which party has the biggest list of complaints against the other, the California Family Courts now try to create an equitable agreement based on what each spouse will need to be financially independent.
If you wish to gain further legal advice on this matter, please visit my website at: www.stephaniesquires.com or call me at my office for a free consultation.
